


It's Not Gay Chicken If You Meant to Crash

by supernatural9917



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Gay Chicken, Humor, M/M, ProfoundPrompts, Sam Winchester is Scarred For Life, Sexting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:03:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22136764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernatural9917/pseuds/supernatural9917
Summary: Dean sends Cas a rude text message. Cas's unexpected reply kicks off a game of gay chicken that Dean is likely to win even if he loses.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 29
Kudos: 413
Collections: ProfoundBond Prompt Collection





	It's Not Gay Chicken If You Meant to Crash

**Author's Note:**

> This is a double-function fic: a birthday present for the fabulous [yourspecialeyes](https://yourspecialeyes.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr (happiest of birthdays!) and filling an image prompt by clownish from the Profound Bond server. The image is embedded in the fic below. Enjoy!

Dean has been staring at his phone for at least five minutes. Cas had gone off again on yet another angel-related thing, leaving Dean high and dry for movie night. There's been a snarky exchange of text messages since Cas said he was finally on his way back, and then Dean had just decided to move past clever quips and just say what he felt.

_Go fuck yourself_

Almost as soon as he'd hit send, he'd regretted it, knowing it was too far, but fuck- he was sick of Cas just up and leaving when they had plans, especially for those angel dicks who would as soon kill him as look at him. Cas's reply, however, had been completely unexpected.

**Fuck me yourself you coward**

And that's why Dean's been staring at his phone for probably closer to ten minutes now, wondering what the fuck he was supposed to say to that. Is Cas serious? Or is he just being snarky back? Well, it takes two to play gay chicken, so Dean types with a smug smile on his face.

_Can't do that if you're never here can I?_

Ha! Take that, Cas. So what if Dean's stomach roils with each second that passes without a reply? He definitely showed Cas who's boss. Or something. The little dots appear to show Cas is typing, but they keep disappearing and reappearing like he keeps deleting what he's writing. The reply finally comes a couple minutes later.

**So when I return, you intend to fuck me?** **🤨**

Well, shit. He hadn't expected Cas to be that blunt about it, which in hindsight was pretty stupid, because it's Cas. Dean decides to just go the full brazen route. Cas will definitely back down then, because it's not like he actually _wants_ Dean to fuck him.

 _You know what why not? If you actually bother to show up bring lube and condoms and prepare to bend over_ 😈

There's no response for nearly an hour, which makes Dean think he's won… and then a photo message comes through, showing what looks frighteningly similar to the, ahem, intimate section of the drug store in Lebanon.

**Any preferred brands?**

Shit, fuck, shit. Cas isn't backing down. Well fuck that, Dean isn’t either.

_Magnum XL and Astroglide_

Direct and to the point. _Suck on that, Cas_ , he thinks smugly, but given the context, it kinda makes him think of Cas actually, you know, sucking it, and now he's got a boner. Shit.

 **Dean, I rebuilt you from a mangled, half-decayed corpse. Though you are slightly above average in length, your penis fits just fine in standard condoms** 🙄

Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker. Dean may actually die from this. Before he can think up a reply, Cas sends another message.

**I'm getting the Trojan Studded Bare Skin with premium lubricant. I think the bumps will enhance the pleasure of prostate stimulation, and the additional lubrication should be helpful for anal penetration.**

Dean isn't completely sure why he's getting so fucking hard from Cas describing sex like a damn sex ed textbook, but he can just picture all those words in Cas's voice and… yeah. He's really starting to hope that Cas actually means it.

**Is that OK with you, Dean?**

Considering Dean is thinking of having a quick jerk-off session just now to avoid coming in his pants the second Cas walks in, yeah, it's OK with him. He doesn't even bother to write something witty.

_Sounds good. Come straight to my room and DON'T TELL SAM_

**I'll pay for my purchases and be home in 15 minutes.**

Dean whimpers, squeezing his cock through his jeans. He almost doesn't notice the next message.

**Last chance to tell me this has all been game. If I don't hear back from you, I will expect to be on all fours on your bed within the next half hour.**

Dean freezes. This text confirms multiple things: one, that Cas knows Dean started off playing a game; two, that Cas is serious about Dean fucking him; and three, that Dean is one hundred percent not letting anything stop him having Cas on all fours on his bed within the next half hour. He could just not reply, but he wants his intentions to be completely clear.

_If you'll be home in 15 I want you on all fours on my bed within 20_

He considers some more, bites his lip, and adds,

_Hope you fit standard condoms too cuz I want a turn 2_

There. It's all out in the open. He just has to hope that Cas really does mean it.

**I've never missed my wings more than in this moment. There's a very slow old woman at the cash register and I very much want to smite her for TAKING SO LONG. I'll get there as soon as I can.** **🍑🍆👨❤️💋👨**

Dean just hopes he doesn't die before then.

Barely ten minutes later, the door of the bunker opens and slams shut again, and Dean hears hurried footsteps coming down the hall. They skid to halt in front of his door and, to his surprise, Cas actually knocks. He adjusts his position and shouts at him to come in.

The door opens slowly, like Cas is afraid Dean will change his mind or punch him or something. His jaw drops when he sees Dean, and he quickly shuts the door behind him.

'Dean,' Castiel says in a voice that already sounds wrecked.

'Cas,' Dean replies. 'Like what you see?' He really hopes Cas likes what he sees, because he's really putting himself out there. Instead of standing around waiting and building stress sweat, Dean had freshened himself up and posed on the bed wearing nothing but satiny pink panties.

'I want to devour you. I want to touch and taste every inch of your flesh and then do it again. I want to love you as you have never been loved before.' Cas stalks over to the bed, dropping the bag and putting his hands either side of Dean's shoulders to crowd against him. 'Will you let me?'

'Fuck yeah,' Dean sighs, already too far gone to remember to play it cool.

'Not just tonight,' Cas clarifies, and Dean shakes his head. 'Forever,' Cas clarifies even further, and Dean nods. 'From tonight, you are _mine_.' It could have sounded like jealousy, but the awe and gentleness in Cas's voice gives it a whole different tone.

'Yours. And you're mine.'

Cas finally leans in and places a soft kiss on Dean's lips. 'Always.' Then he stands up and takes off the trenchcoat, which is almost enough to make Dean worry about coming too soon again. The suit jacket is next, and then the tie… fuck, the way he takes off the tie is somehow ridiculously erotic. Finally, after what feels like eighty-four years (yeah, Dean's seen Titanic, Sam wanted to see it for the Celine Dion song, shut up), Cas is down to just a pair of plain white boxers, and his thumbs are hooked around the waistband just waiting for Dean's instruction.

'Off,' Dean says, sitting at the edge of the bed and licking his lips in invitation. The boxers drop, and Dean's eyes widen. 'Hope you got the XLs after all.'

'After your last message, I did,' Cas smirks. Dean wipes that expression right off his face by taking Cas's cock into his mouth. 'Dean!' Cas cries out, and the bulb in the overhead light explodes. Luckily, Dean also has his lamp on, and Cas mojos away the broken glass to avoid any mishaps. Dean smiles around Cas's cock, loving that he made Cas lose control like that.

As much as he's enjoying sucking Cas off, he's got other plans, so he pulls away and lies back on the bed. 'I believe we had other plans, angel.'

Cas takes the lube out of the bag, then climbs on top of him and pulls the panties down just far enough to expose him completely. 'We have all night, and frankly, right now I just want to see you come apart in my hands.'

Dean can't really argue with that, not least because Cas is kissing him properly now, and then his lubed hand is wrapping around both their cocks. Dean vaguely manages to think that Cas made a good call there, because after all the tension from gay chicken and wearing panties and seeing Cas naked and sucking his huge dick, Dean wouldn't have lasted inside Cas for more than a second. It looks like Cas was in the same situation, because within only a few minutes, he's throwing his head back and coming all over Dean's stomach. To say Dean doesn't last much longer would be an understatement.

Cas mojos away the mess like he mojoed away the glass and pulls Dean into his arms. 'I enjoyed that very much, and I look forward to a variety of sexual experiences with you that I'm sure will "blow my mind" just as much, if not more.' He only has one hand free to do air quotes, but he does them anyway and Dean just grins at him. 'But I'm also getting a lot of pleasure from just holding you.'

'I, uh… I'm pretty good at cuddling, actually,' Dean admits. 'So anytime you wanna do that, I'm definitely your guy.'

'Maybe on our next movie night? I know you don't want Sam to find out, but-'

'I didn't say that.'

'You said not to tell Sam.'

'Yeah, not to tell Sam you were coming to my room to bone. He would've tried to have a conversation about it and given us that concerned face that's guaranteed to kill boners. Telling him _after_ is completely gonna happen, and if he doesn't leave the room covering his ears and saying, "LA LA LA," really loud, I'll have failed as a big brother.'

Contrary to what that joke required, Cas smiles fondly at him and drops a soft kiss on his cheek. 'Thank you. I love you.'

Dean is too relaxed to panic about that, so he just lets himself go full chick flick. 'Love you too, Cas.'

A few hours later, Sam leaves the entire bunker covering his ears and saying, 'LA LA LA,' really loud, which comes in very handy for making a dent in the sexual experiences Cas had been looking forward to so much. It's also pretty good for cuddling.


End file.
